From our experience serving Veterans and their families in our HMR State Veterans Homes, we’ve learned that the best way to thank a Veteran is actually to listen. So on this year’s Veterans Day, consider “Thank you for your service,” to be the opening—not the conversation in and of itself as frequently happens.
Why? Because some of the most important things a Veteran can tell us come from listening to them. So instead of thanking a Veteran and then leaving it at that, ask some conversation-starting questions, such as ‘which branch of the military did you serve in?’
Let their answers guide the conversation. For example, an that basic question about which branch they served in both opens the dialogue and lays the foundation to continue speaking with that Veteran. A natural follow-up question is along the lines of: What was your job in the military? Beyond that, another is: What do you remember most fondly?
That line of questioning keeps the exchange primarily focused on the positive aspects of their service and good memories of their time in the military.
Enter the discussion knowing that something a Veteran mentions may deserve another, more detailed question. Or even just more time to listen while they talk. The Veteran may provide answers that are not immediately clear to you. When that happens, ask clarifying questions to help you understand.
While you are listening to their answers, recognize that Veterans have had different experiences with different wars, and often different homecomings as well. So don’t attempt to sound as though you have served if you have not. Don’t say “I know how you feel” or similar sentiments when you do not. It’s also important to give Veterans the space not to share their experience if that is their preference.
We all can learn a lot from these types of exchanges with Veterans—and that includes those of us who work at HMR. Listening to Veterans in our Homes connects us to our residents by helping them feel heard and seen. And it helps our leadership and care teams shape the experience we deliver to Veterans and their families.
In fact, we live by the mantra that HMR homes are where Veterans continue their story with the high-quality of life they deserve. That means empowering our care teams to put Veterans at the center and that requires us to truly understand them as individuals, not just people needing care.
At HMR and all around the country, asking these kinds of questions, listening, and acknowledging what Veterans are saying goes well beyond “Thank you for your service” in honoring Veteran heroes—on this Veterans Day and every day throughout the year.
